Take Yourself Seriously
Originally, I wrote this headline: Take Yourself Seriously. And the sub-heading was: “and others will, too.”
I immediately backtracked and deleted that sub-heading. That isn’t the point at all. To do any meaningful work in this life, we need the most important ingredient first: our own belief.
As a sensitive, tiny child growing up in Omaha, Nebraska, I remember wanting adults to take me seriously. A vivid memory is silently fuming in the dentist chair thinking they would never poke my mother’s gums this hard because she is an adult. I wanted to bite the dentist’s hand (a character in my books will have to have this honor).
I admire the serious-taking-minded people.
Marie Curie was completely shunned by the male-dominated scientific community for decades. She soldiered on, until it literally killed her. She took herself seriously.
The Wright brothers, Wilbur and Orville, were so convinced that they could build a flying machine that against all odds - THEY DID.
Noah didn’t build the ark because anyone actually believed him.
I think we love these stories because 1. they were successful and 2. we recognize creativity and admire tenacity, which 3. makes us believe that we, too, could make our own flying machine.
Few appreciate such seriousness until there is some sort of success story in the end. No one likes the actual inconveniences of late-night practice, the monotony of a thousand free kicks, tinkering, research, the early morning wake up sessions to write. But we sure love a glorious ending to all of those things (Hello McFarland - a FAVORITE movie). Isn’t it the ultimate act of faith - to act when no one else believes but you?
What if you fail? What if there is no money made, award or acknowledgment? Is it still worth doing?
As we go into a new year, I think it’s worth asking: what would happen if you took yourself seriously?
This is what my life looked like when I decided to take my writing seriously:
I mean, that’s pretty embarrassing. What are those metal cans on the writing desk about? A robot? I DON’T KNOW. These were the days when my children were all little and my desk, which was located just in the room off the front door, became the dumping ground. You can see the school pictures, the “Mom Bucks” jar, kid papers everywhere.
I don’t know how anyone could write at that desk without losing her mind, but apparently, I did.
I’m also pretty proud of what this picture represents: years learning how to write a novel, ‘cause I sure didn’t know how. What the heck was rising action? I marked up, mapped out, and dog-eared the heck out of Jodi Picoult’s SISTER’S KEEPER. In retrospect, there may have been better choices b/c that particular novel has multiple and complicated POVs…
But it’s been proven to me time and time again: when we declare intention, and then step into the universe, it bends to our will.
As soon as I started taking my writing more seriously, it took me more seriously.
What else is on this desk?
The timer: during nap time, I set the timer for 59 minutes and stayed in the chair. I still use this technique.
The calculator: to calculate word count
A thesaurus/dictionary
A three-act structure poster taped to the wall
A worked-over manuscript on the stand
The computer
A “Cast of Characters” taped to the wall to keep it all straight (this was when I was working on my first published novel, which had a different title then).
I had little idea of what I was doing. What was I doing? Writing silly, inconsequential made up stories in my very messy study?
I remember a friend asking the “what do you want to do with your life next?” question.
“Well,” I said. “I’ve been writing…I…I want to write books.”
There was a small glimmer of confusion in her eyes. A flicker of doubt. Uh huh.
I tell you, there are dream killers everywhere. Lurking. You must not mind them.
I often despaired that all of the effort of writing a novel would be for naught. Over the years there were so many NO’s. But every once in awhile there would be something that spurred me forward.
I had to constantly lean in and listen to the little voice in my head that whispered…write.
wrote a great post entitled In Defense of Taking Yourself Seriously.Hattie reminded me that Julia Cameron said, "Leap and the net will appear."
Don’t we find ways to make things work when we commit to them? YES! That is exactly what I’ve found to be true.
I sometimes still have trouble saying “I’m a writer” out loud. And knowing my love language is “Words of Affirmation,” I lap up validation.
For instance:
A couple of weeks ago, as I served smoothies to the football team before their final championship game, we started talking about nutrition and the body and I got SO EXCITED. I love this stuff. It’s what I’ve spent the last 25 years of my life doing - teaching and learning about the human body. I excitedly told my husband how much I’ve missed the classroom and working with athletes and maybe I could teach a class and start working with teams again and we could have a google doc for all the teams to sign up for and….
he looked at me and said, “or you could write.”
Now let me tell you. Swoon-worthy words.
This mattered.
What he was saying: take yourself seriously. Just mere months ago I stepped away from employment (and steady paychecks) so I could be more single-minded on one thing: WRITING.
I have gratitude for those who take us seriously. Because sometimes we forget. Sometimes someone has to say it.
Here’s Maya Angelou:
Most people don’t grow up. It’s too damn difficult. What happens is most people get older. That’s the truth of it. They honor their credit cards, they find parking spaces, they marry, they have the nerve to have children, but they don’t grow up. Not really. They get older. But to grow up costs the earth, the earth. It means you take responsibility for the time you take up, for the space you occupy. It’s serious business. And you find out what it costs us to love and to lose, to dare and to fail. And maybe even more, to succeed. What it costs, in truth.
— Maya Angelou
We must not wait another minute to grow up, to take ourselves seriously. Time is ticking. We’re getting old. I feel the urgency. Do you?
Maya’s right. To do the important stuff, we must do more than just get older. We must grow up. It’s dang hard. We try and we fail and think everyone else knows what they’re doing except us. Or that all is lost because we didn’t start that thing when we were three. Bah! Like my mom says - no one is born knowing how to play Beethoven! She says that about everything that’s hard. What a great mindset.
My 46-year-old sister just started playing the violin. So 🔥
Hattie referenced Oliver Burkman’s Everyone is (Still) Winging it. Apparently, most of us feel great relief to know that it’s not just us that’s making it up as we go.
Take yourself seriously. Go all in. Scribble the plot points out in the car while waiting in the car as your child finishes hockey practice. Sketch while waiting for the play to start. Jot down all the ideas you had last night. Dream those ridiculous, audacious dreams. Make a plan. Take yourself seriously.
Funnily enough, and we get back to the sub-heading, when you take yourself seriously, others will too. Isn't that nice? But that is NOT the reason you do it as
wrote so well this week. You know what else? Maybe they won't.And when or if you do get the gold star, it will merely be a nice thing, not an essential one.
Now I need to take my own advice and stop doing laundry in the middle of the day; b/c that is not what creative hours are for!
Take yourself seriously is maybe the single most important nugget I’d give a writer or creative or human.
How do you take yourself seriously? Drop me a comment, no matter how big or small, I would love to hear.
Take yourself seriously.
Because if it matters to you, then it matters.
a GINORMOUS thank you
Last week I received my first paying subscribers to this newsletter. I am so grateful. It’s YOU taking ME seriously. It is such a boost of confidence. Your paid subscription means that I can write and produce more in this space. Paying subscribers will make it all the more possible.
THANK YOU, from the very bottom of my heart (which, btw, are the left and right ventricles :)
Amy 💗
Book Recommendations:
Atomic Habits and Thinking, Fast and Slow are both half off right now (favorite take-yourself-seriously books).
Good News and Story Links
*World Cup Loves mourn Grant Wahl: an excellent journalist, an even better human 💔
*Even Brene Brown doesn’t want to change (this is great)
*Writer Austin Kleon’s art studio (read the previous post to see how he built it)
*There are TWO spots left for a FREE virtual World Read Aloud with me on February 1, 2023. Sign up now! I’m working on some fun stuff to send to classes who sign up (plus a sneak peek of THE MCNIFFICENTS…)
*Breakups Always Hurt, But You Can Shorten the Suffering by Arthur C. Brooks. I like everything Brooks writes, and how he uses examples from novels to open this essay.
You and me - in it for life!!!! 😊🙌💜
Oh,. and that Maya Angelou quote - absolute gold!