if you see something...say something
How to achieve world peace: tell her you love her smile
In high school, fearing that I was a shallow person who only liked to read Sweet Valley High (true) I decided the solution was reading a “classic.” And so I plucked Anna Karenina off the shelf in our home in Omaha, Nebraska.1
Although it was very very long (about 350,000 words; the average length of a novel today is 80-100,000 words), I surprised myself by liking the tragic and doomed love affair (of course I did).
I’m listening to this story again (via the free Libby app!) - ALL THIRTY THREE hours of it, and give my 16-year-old self props for sticking with it. Really, how many words do we need on Vronsky’s race horse, Fru Fru?2 or Levin’s fields?!!?
This is an introduction to a tiny theme I’m plucking from Anna Karenina: we should say the things we think in our heads. Especially the good, kind ones. We so often admire something about someone and instead of saying them - which would spark joy - we keep them to ourselves. And thus, the moment for joy between two people passes.
In Anna Karenina (I’m 19/33 hours in), the weight of what Kitty and Levin cannot say out loud to one another is driving me mad! (But I also know the ending of their story, so…)
Usually the expression, “see something, say something” is a warning of sorts, to keep us safe. On the English subway, it was repeated over and over: “See Something, Say Something - Sorted!” (we still say this to each other all of the time…in an English accent.)
Of course, to say something kind, first we must notice.
I’ve written about noticing before, featuring Sherlock Holmes.
What others miss, he notices.
"You see, but you do not observe,"
he famously tells Dr. Watson1 when explaining how Watson has seen the steps leading up to their apartment at 221B Baker Street countless times but cannot tell him the exact number of steps.
And remember: attention is the beginning of devotion.
My daughter was a very nosy baby. Said more positively: incredibly observant. This trait has become a superpower. Wherever we go, she is watching and observing and then saying it out loud - ooooh, I love your shoes! that’s the prettiest shirt! you have the most gorgeous hair!
She’ll say these things to complete strangers and it never fails to make that person smile (even when her sisters say, COPE!). And then she goes on her merry way, leaving the world a better place.
Well, I think this is a good way to live. When we see something, we should say something.
SEE SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING.
“I love your shoes”
“What a gorgeous sunset”
“Rain is so romantic”
“You have the nicest smile”
“Thank you for watching out for your brother”
“I can see you are working so hard - I’m proud of you”
Recently, a young reader made my day by emailing me this:
Oh my, on hard writing days, this is the kind of email that sustains me. There was a dopamine burst inside my brain. My heart swelled three sizes.
I felt happier that afternoon. I likely skipped up the hill while walking the dog and complimented the neighbor’s flowers. I’m quite sure I RADIATED SUNSHINE to every living creature. Or something like it. What I’m saying is: there were ripple effects.
So I write today in hopes to encourage you (not only to read Anna Karenina :) but to do your part for world peace and tell her you like her shoes. or her smile. or anything else that is true and kind.
It is the small, ordinary moments, done consistently over time that lead to *atomic* results.
This week, Kelly Corrigan wrote: “One year from now, the world will look exactly as the 8 billion of us have made it look.”
“Words of affirmation” is my love language, so I give “See Something, Say Something” five stars.
❤️ Amy
Tell me your stories of “see something, say something.” I would love to hear…
The Last Part
Watching: rain, rain for days…flowers are popping, worms are swimming
Smelling: wet grass and wet dogs
Tasting: rain, of course; I’m making myself go for long walks
Hearing: the peepers are insane right now (little frogs who peep at dusk!)
Reading: Anna Karenina and A LOT of chapter books (research)
Cheering: Remember how much I loved JAMES? It won the Pulitzer - so I’m SAYING SOMETHING! HOORAY!
The Unforgettable Guinevere St. Clair is part-mystery, part understanding of the human heart 💖
Ten Thousand Tries is Golden’s quest to save his dad and the soccer team ⚽
The McNifficents is one summer with six rambunctious kids and their miniature-schnauzer nanny 🐕 New Hampshire’s 2024 Great Reads for Kids selection!
(it always gives me great delight to tell someone I’m from Nebraska). They immediately imagine corn and cows…this would be a true Nebraska visual.
My daughter, Cope, named her high school bike, “Fru Fru” after Vronsky’s horse. This gives me pleasure on so many levels - mostly that anyone in high school reads Tolstoy!
My daughter is also observant like this, always complimenting strangers on their nails, earrings, things I don’t even notice. Am absolutely going to try this.
Ok, but have you noticed that here on Substack, when you are drafting a post and go the email preview view, the sample subscriber is Konstantin Levin? When I saw that it made me so ridiculously happy. I read that book for the first time last year and couldn't STAND Anna, but Levin is now one of my all time favorite characters.